Thursday, 9 January 2014

Top 10 Things You Don't Want to Have Happen When You Are Home Alone

This list will be short and sweet. And terrifying. These are things that only seem to happen when we are alone. Because any other time would be far too inconvenient for ghosts/axe murderers.

10. A phone call- First thought: 7 days. Why? Because that's how the human psyche works. It's the girl from The Ring letting you know she knows where you live. Thankfully, this is usually not the case. You can usually tell who's calling thanks to a wonderful feature in Call Display. But there is still something eerie about someone calling the house when you are home alone. Maybe it's because of Black Christmas and the urban legend surrounding "the call is coming from inside the house" or maybe it's because people just don't use their phones to call people anymore so it's just weird.

9. Pets making sounds- This can be comforting, sure, to hear that you aren't completely alone in the house. But what about when you and your dog are downstairs, curled up by the light of the electric fireplace, watching a movie and you hear a creaking sound from upstairs. Try blaming that one on the dog. Pets are notorious for popping out at the most inopportune moments and they always seem to break something when you are home alone. Whether you have a cat, a dog, a bird, or a rabid family of squirrels living in your attic, pets are responsible for some of the creepiest moments when you are home alone.

8. Showering- I don't know why it's such a big deal when you are home alone, but it is. It's not like you shower in front of a crowd normally, so why would it make a difference if there is no one else in the house? I blame Psycho. There's just something about showering when no one else is home that makes it terrifying. Sure, it means you can sing louder or drop the soap ironically, but it also means that you are in your most vulnerable state: singing, naked, and bending over. It's just asking for trouble. Not to mention the mirrors in there with you...There's just something about mirrors!

7.  A knock at the door- Similar to the phone ringing but you don't have the luxury of caller display. You almost have to go to the door to see who it could possibly be. Ever notice how the people who seem to knock more than once only come by when you are home alone? You might think it's your family coming back earlier than expected because they forgot something. But it's always a complete stranger who couldn't be any more suspicious looking. .

6. Walking up the basement stairs- Whether people are home alone or in a house full of hundreds of people, walking up the basement stairs is truly terrifying. Especially if you have to walk past a door. Double especially if that door is slightly open. We all get that primal instinct to just RUN because a hand is about to find its way out of the door and grab you (if you didn't consider that before you certainly will now) or just that uneasy feeling that something isn't quite right- See #4.

5. Something not how you left it- So you get up to use the washroom and the door is completely shut, so you open it. A couple minutes later, you get up to grab a drink and out of the corner of your eye you notice the bathroom door is shut again. Or if you can make it to the kitchen without noticing the bathroom door and you see that a cupboard is open. Weird. Only thing that would make it worse would be if something flew out of said cupboard or if the bathroom door suddenly slamming shut. Doors on their own just become way creepier when no one is around.

4. Feeling like you are being watched- Just so creepy. All of the sudden you feel like someone is standing behind you. You turn around, half expecting someone to be standing there and half hoping that it's all in your imagination. If you have ever seen Paranormal Activity 2, you can imagine why this is a legitimate concern. If you haven't, I suggest you do so. Unless you like being able to watch TV without being concerned of a possessed girl stalking you. But to each his own. Imagine getting that feeling and turning around and just seeing someone actually standing there though...Even the thought is enough to make you want to check right now. Do it. Anyone there?

3. Alarm clocks/Radios- Can anyone honestly tell me they aren't scared when an alarm clock or radio suddenly turns on? Okay, maybe you forgot you set the alarm or maybe you set it to PM instead of AM, sure, it's an honest mistake but being home alone and suddenly hearing beeping or worse, voices, coming from upstairs is the most deeply disturbing sound conceivable.

2. The power going out- If there's a thunderstorm, fine, then you can at least justify why it went out. Doesn't make it any less terrifying but at least you can use common sense to rationalize why it happened. But what about when there are clear skies? At first it might be frustrating because you can't game, watch TV OR sit on the computer and read poorly written articles, but as soon as the thought of "why did the power go out..." crosses your mind, all Hell breaks loose.

1. Thinking- Why. Why do we consider the "huh...I wonder if the house is haunted...” thought or "I heard a sound...Maybe someone just broke into the house" only when we are alone? Why do we only recall every single scary movie we have ever seen only when we are alone, at night, in the basement. You try to will yourself not to think about it...but that never works. Suddenly, every scary thought, image and concept you have ever seen and played off as "that's not scary" all comes together and fuses into this masterpiece of horror that plagues your mind. This can include (but certainly not limited to) thoughts like being jumped by Amanda wearing a pigs mask, the TV suddenly turning to static, a phone call from upstairs, seeing a man standing outside the window, a door violently closing, children giggling softly, or the absolute worst: utter silence. Even after all of the chairs moving on their own, the knocks on the windows, the reflections in the mirrors or the shadows on the walls, your mind remains the absolute scariest part of being home alone.

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