Okay, before I even get into it, this is one that I actually get. Something like the Fear of Jeans or Fear of Unpeeled Bananas...Not so much. Spiders, I understand. Arachnophobia affects a shocking amount of people. I bet if you put a 20 foot tarantula in a room of 30 children almost all of them would be afraid. Is there any test in the world that is more effective than that? I think not.
Spiders have at least 8 legs. No one can confirm one way or another because nobody wants to get close enough to count. You never know when those little guys will decide to strike. Realistically, it might be never, but it might be sooner than you think! They also have at least 2 eyes. That's not as scary but it's still worth noting. In addition to the legs and eyes they have these furry little bodies that seem to suggest they want to be pet. Don't make the mistake of trying to pet a spider though because sometimes they can jump and disappear into the night. Or they can bite you and then you have no choice but star in 3 movies about saving an entire city only to be replaced by some guy a few years later WHO I DON'T THINK WAS EVEN BITTEN BY A SPIDER..But I digress.
I think the worst part about spiders is not knowing where one is at all times. Inevitably, there are spiders somewhere in your house 24/7. They are required to be there by law. It's this ridiculous act that was passed in the early 1700's that basically stated that ownership of a house requires at least 2 spiders to be present at all times. I don't really want to get into the legal side of things; it's not my area of expertise. The fact of the matter is that NOT knowing where they are is scary. Because if you can't see them, they could be anywhere. If you are standing above one as it helplessly circles the toilet bowl, watch it closely. Those things know a few Houdini tricks. I swear, you blink and the thing is gone. Then the power goes out and then you hear a knock at the door. It's just the worst.
So what can you do if you are someone who is afraid of spiders? You can't live your life hiding from them in your closet. Mostly because they tend to live in there. But also because you need to take control and assert your dominance over those tiny creatures. Usually spiders don't grow any bigger than your thumb. Unless you live in Australia, in which case I am so sorry. Or if you live anywhere near the Forbidden Forest because I think we all know how big those things can get... For the rest of us, spiders are generally pretty small and usually keep to themselves. If you spot one crawling on the ceiling or wall, just approach it with caution but don't actually do anything. You can talk to it if you really want to. If it replies then you might have a bit of a problem on your hands, but for the most part they stay pretty quiet. There's no reason to test out the new flamethrower you just built on it. So just let the little guy be and continue on with your life. Of course, if it lunges at you then it's fair game. Prison rules.
Oh, and PS, the average person swallows 8 spiders a year in their sleep. Yeah.
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