We Are What We Are

As far as being horribly mislead by online reviews goes, this one was a success. Had I only checked more than one source I would have probably realized this one really wasn't that great. And here's a question: What is this movie? This is one of those situations where I feel like my credibility as a self-proclaimed writer gets thrown out the window as it's revealed that I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about.
(For those of you who didn't click the links...Rotten Tomatoes said it was good, IMDB said bad, and there was another movie released 3 years earlier with basically the same plot)

Regardless, here is my review for We Are What We Are.

The movie starts off slow. Then escalates to absolutely nothing. By about half way through, you are trying to figure out whether you or not you're watching the right movie. I mean, it's slow. Molasses slow. Every time it looks like something epic might happen...it doesn't. And just when you think you're in for the big plot twist...you're not.

It creeps closer and closer until the great reveal. But by then, you've already figured out what's going to happen 45 minutes earlier and you're not the least bit surprised or impressed. You're just happy that the movie finally caught up to your brain. At least that's how I felt. And it was great.

RoboCop played absolutely no role in this movie.

So there's this investigation for something that's been happening lately that I can't really discuss because it might give the entire movie away. And that whole thing is 2 parts predictable and 2 parts "No, seriously. Why?" One thing leads to another, a spontaneous sexual scene in the romantic backdrop of a graveyard ensues, a cop/doctor/I wasn't really paying attention realizes some important fact and the movie all but wraps itself up. WRONG.

This is where an epic (and I use that term loosely) twist occurs. There's some blood, arsenic, a hairpin, a frying pan, and a girl trying to be a hero. I'll let you fill in the blanks. Oh and a lady is killed for, really, the most unnecessary and useless reason. After it happens, you're left with this feeling of "Yeah..but...that was so pointless"  Conveniently, that also sums up my opinion of this movie.

All in all, there are much better movies to be watched. If you like slow developing, laughably obvious, random twists, surprising gore, and a couple actors where you think "...Where do I know this person from?" then you will like this movie. Otherwise...You could always stick with Netflix.